This is the chapter in the book Leadership is male?.



Of course the physical difference is not what is meant. What is the difference as relevant to our discussion?
       I would like to express the difference in view as follows:



Research carried out on men and women changing nappies (diapers in America) showed men were significantly faster than women. The report on a survey was announced on Capital Radio on the 18th July 2004. It took 1 minute and 36 seconds for a man to change a nappy. It took 2 minutes and 5 seconds for a woman.
       This is because as task oriented the guys were treating the operation as a kind of pit stop as with a Formula 1 racing car. Everything laid out in their minds so the job was speedily accomplished. The ladies however interacted more with the baby and as experience oriented this meant that the only pleasure in the task was that interaction.
       Men tend to live in their heads more; women tend to live in their feelings more. This being observed we read that,

. . . the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise . . .

Genesis 3:6

Satan tempted Eve in the things which she experienced. The task of obeying the command was no longer in view. She was deceived.

. . . the serpent deceived me, and I ate.

Genesis 3:13

. . . the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.

1 Timothy 2:14

Now her experience of seeing the tree was there before she ate. Her experience of wisdom and food was yet to be until she ate. But the desire for the new combined with the existing made it real. Food she experienced and wisdom as good in general. Not yet for this fruit, but real in general. So hooks were in place which Satan used to entice her to choose to eat. All based on her experience.
       Deception involves making a decision to believe something which is not wholly true. Satan wants us to believe something that is not true. But we believe it to be once we choose for it. He uses what we know to be true as hooks to add his lies to. To this he adds feelings or intensity that ‘show’ this is ‘good’ or ‘important’ or ‘real’ or ‘immediately required’ . . .
       So, just as he used scripture to tempt Jesus in the wilderness, but always texts out of context, so he uses truths we know of, but only in part. Highlighting only the bit he wants in view. Please note that this method is the same for deceiving men and women.
       The deception involving women in a gathering of believers where learning occurs therefore lies in the experience of what is being heard. Does it feel right? Nice? Are they comfortable? Does it agree with one’s experience? Whether real or aspired to?
       Of course these are not wrong in themselves. It is the time taken to discuss these and the diversions possible which are the issue: Not least because the feelings expressed or their intensity may only be temporary.

Deception and the gender difference
There is a difference between men and women in regards to deception. It is about the female make up and it is about the male make up. In particular with reference to how new information is processed. For women it is to do with the emotional reaction to new input: The overwhelming sensations which override decision making processes. This is what happened with Eve.
       Woman’s greater emotional sensitivity than man is a great asset to her, but in the area of desire type deception, renders her more vulnerable than man. Man’s greater mental aloofness is an asset to cold planning, but his thinking base renders him more vulnerable in the area of decision based deception. It also makes him communicate differently and be more remote when he is not permitting a healthy operation of his feelings.

Marriage and the gender difference
If it is understood that women are more experience oriented than men and that men are more task oriented than women this is helpful in a relationship. This is a brief aside.
       A man who aspires to make his task consist of the good experience of the woman in his life will grow to understand and appreciate her. The woman who communicates what is needful to help the man in her life in his task will benefit greatly. The man not being a woman will take time to learn what is needful, but if the woman shares what is needful even if only once then both will grow to appreciate and enjoy the life they have together . . .

Unless otherwise stated Bible quotes are from
the New King James Version.
© copyright Thomas Nelson Inc. 1979,1980,1982.

© copyright Jacques More 2009. All Rights Reserved.